Many people live on autopilot and don't take the time to enjoy the present moment because they worry about the future and remain attached to the past. Of course, it is important to have plans in life and it can be beneficial to remember past events, but this should not be to the detriment of the present moment.
The thought paths that constitute our mind, lead us automatically to opt for the easy solution. Indeed, when a situation of discomfort arises, the brain will try to bring us back to our comfort zone. One in which we have a certain routine, allowing us to automatically and effortlessly take charge of our usual behaviors.
So why would our mind want to let go of this sense of security, to venture into the unknown which by definition offers no guarantees and is frightening?
The most telling example of the above is when a person decides to play sports. This person is faced with an unusual situation which inevitably leads to multiple questions. And it's usually in these uncomfortable moments that the apologies appear. For example, I don't have time, I'm tired, I don't like sports, and so on. Eventually, the person is convinced and gives up the practice of the sport even if at the beginning, there were valid reasons (the desire to be healthy, to lose weight, to have self-confidence, to challenge yourself, etc.).
We reproduce the same thought patterns with our happiness
Many people have a feeling of inadequacy deep inside them, an emotion in which they feel that the central piece that constitutes the puzzle of their life is missing. Unfortunately, this emotion will never go away if the person does not make up his mind to become more. That is to say, to become what one should be and what one would like to be deep within us. But is this really possible if we stick to the past and live in the future?
Being happy is not a question of tomorrow, much less of yesterday, but of today. This is an essential truth that everyone should be aware of. It is now, today, that a person's happiness is defined, through their ways of thinking, their choices, their habits or their social environment. In other words, everything that revolves around a person plays a role in that person's well-being.
Our way of thinking leads us to push back our happiness and it is always easier to keep the good old thought patterns than to shake up habits. It can be compared to the thought process associated with playing sports.
Do we realize that by constantly thinking about the past and the future, we prevent happiness from existing today?
Ultimately, what does “be happy” mean?
We agree that every human being is different. On the one hand, its culture, its education, its aspirations or its influences. Despite this diversity, each person is bound by the different rules that govern our life.
Being happy is not about money. Yes, let's talk about the money a little, but really a little. Certainly, consuming and possessing material goods improves our condition of life, but this is not what fundamentally gives meaning to our existence. We live in a society that puts money at the center of the whole system. This leads to abuses that push us, for example, to value ourselves according to how much we have in the bank account and not according to our values or our actions.
Jim Carrey said this amazing "I wish everyone were rich and famous to realize that is not the answer". This sentence is indicative of the meaning we should give to our life.
To be happy is not to succeed in life, it is to succeed in life.
Understanding the drifts that prevent us from removing this feeling of lack that can accompany us for many years, understanding the thought mechanisms that are triggered when a situation of discomfort arises, are important elements that were important to enter before continuing.
Happiness does not come suddenly or by chance. Nor is it about who we were, nor who we may be tomorrow, but it is about who we are today and whom we are cultivating daily, moment by moment, for the future. to make better.
Which means ?
Make others happy. Helping bring value to people's lives is part of happiness. Let me ask you a question.
Are you happier when you receive a gift or when you see joy on the face of the person you are giving a gift to?
When a person shows you who they really are, believe them. We live in a world where we have learned that when we give, it means that we have no more. However, the opposite is true in life. When you give, you receive just as much, if not more. The only data that is unknown is the time.
Love what you are doing. 90% of people don't like their jobs. They are therefore unhappy. It's quite amazing especially when we know that we spend 1/3 of our life at work. Why put up with spending 1/3 of our time doing something that doesn't make us happy?
Finding meaning in your life is the essence of happiness. Do I thrive in this area? What is my passion? Asking the right questions and finding the answers allows you to get closer to the path that must be taken. You can fail at what you don't like, you might as well try to succeed at what you like.
Carpe Diem. You have heard of this quote before and maybe even inspired you. But how often do you put it into practice? This maxim which says in summary "Pick the present day without worrying about the tomorrow" is an incentive to fully enjoy each moment, without worrying about the next day and yesterday.
Have gratitude. Take the time to always remember what you have, what you achieve and most importantly who you are. You will understand that ultimately your situation is not to be pitied. I invite you to write down 5 things you are grateful for and remind yourself of them regularly.
Be optimistic. To be optimistic is to take pride in the events that are happening to us. Being optimistic is also saying this to yourself "In 10 years, will what happens to me today still have an impact in my life? ". The purpose of this question is to eliminate thoughts that are superfluous and that may pollute the mind more than they should. Behind this, it is important to recite positive affirmations to yourself in order to maintain a happy state of mind, predisposed to better deal with life's obstacles.
You wonder why ?
Simply because the healthier you eat, the better you feel in your body. And the same goes with the mind, the more good brain nourishment you give your brain, the more efficient it is.
E + R = A?
Far be it from me to bring you back to mathematical formulas that may awaken painful memories in you, but know that this formula quoted above is the lesson you absolutely must understand now.
E = Events R = reaction A = outcome
Eckhart Tolle said: "The main cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but always the thoughts about it"
In other words, the response that will be given to an event will determine whether the route taken is in the direction of happiness or unhappiness. When we are faced with a difficult situation, we always have a choice to go one way or another.
Are we giving up or moving forward?
You know dear friend, staying focused on the past will not change things and prevent moving forward. On the other hand, constantly looking to the future does not make us fully enjoy the present moment and can create frustration with things we want to achieve but don't yet have.
Ultimately, being mortal is the best revealer there is. Yes, remembering that we are all going to leave someday should make us realize that we have to enjoy every small second that we are lucky enough to have today, because yesterday does not exist and tomorrow is not certain.
See you soon.